Having implanted Katie later (8 years old), after having made connections in the Deaf community, I got a lot of "feedback." This is my "redacted" response to some of that.
For me, it isn’t black and white, choosing “technology” or “ASL”
are not mutually exclusive choices. I
have a strong desire to tear down the wall that puts me and by extension my
daughter distinctly on the other team because we chose technology. I never viewed it as an “either or”
choice.
I am hopeful that Katie will be
the last generation to have strong opinions, meaning the concept of everyone in
two distinct corners will lessen. Some
of what makes this so loaded is the bad experiences many Deaf had growing up,
some of which was due to the very distinct camps. This mentality of once you make your choice
it is permanent, only perpetuates the problem.
If you forgo a cochlear for your child, the window of opportunity closes
after about 5. If you do get your child
implanted, you will forever be branded, judged, and criticized for it. If you don’t have thick skin, you tuck
yourself into the technology corner and never look back, even if it isn’t going
well. Rarely are any other choices you make in life so divisive.
My general belief is different. I believe that more open dialogue and
respectful acceptance of people’s choices, the more good information becomes readily
available. I also believe we will find
well-adjusted kids in the future who may have had or still have tech, but live
as happy Deaf adults fluent in ASL. As a
parent, I have come in contact with Deaf adults with technology that grew up
hating the tech or perhaps more accurately the oppressive culture that went
hand and hand with tech. It’s an
important distinction.
For the sake of argument, imagine a case where a child is
implanted and isn’t doing well (emotionally or technically), but the hearing
parent can’t find enough support to change course? Or is too invested to change course, in this
divisive culture? The cycle repeats itself over and over.
I believe more acceptance will lead to better outcomes for
Deaf kids. I think if there weren’t such
strong emotions in both corners forcing vulnerable parents to filter through
all the bad information on both sides, parents with access to better
information will make better choices. I
do think by the time Katie’s generation
is grown, people will see more cases of successful ASL using Deaf adults,
regardless of whether they used tech or not.
People who aren’t necessarily negative about tech, but pro ASL; one can
be a better fit, without the other having been damaging. I do think you will see people choose to
forgo technology, not because of scare tactics, but because they have all the
information and good support.
I met a woman with a Deaf child under one. When I met her she was already down the road
on her decision to implant. She was
already getting plenty of negative messages about her decision. Instead, I focused on the benefits of ASL,
early language acquisition, I signed with her baby, who was clearly very
visually focused. In my mind, that child
was clearly a child that is wired for ASL.
I encouraged this woman to start signing, to sign up for a Deaf mentor,
and show up for ASL classes… but at every turn she was dealing with negative
feedback from others, including ASL class.
Her daughter was ultimately implanted; she is still very visually
focused, and always gravitates to the person signing near her. Last time I saw them she raised her arms to
be picked up by an interpreter friend who was signing the most fluently
(Coda). In my eyes the door is still
open for this little girl, from what I have gathered from many others’ perspective
this child is lost to technology, and an unfulfilled life.
I am going to try to take some of the emotion out of this by
explaining my perspective by drawing an analogy.
I am a choice advocate, but after years of fertility
treatments, tens of thousands of dollars spent trying to have a child, my view
of abortion is colored by my experience.
If my goal were to stop people from getting abortions, I wouldn’t focus
on telling people all the complications that have happened during abortion procedures. I wouldn’t show pictures of aborted fetuses,
I would empathize, offer support and help them see the availability and
benefits of other alternatives. Perhaps invite them to spend time with my
adopted children. If they chose abortion,
I would be supportive. At some point,
some of those that choose abortion may later have some regret, they then become
great allies, allies with an important perspective/story that haven’t been
alienated.
I happen to think I am a great Deaf ally, why because I have
access to parents on the technology tract.
I have relevance to them because I have made the decision to
implant. I am not talking to them about
dangers of surgery, because that is relatively rare and well documented for
them already. I want to keep my credibility intact. I am however pointing out that we are in the
“wildly successful” Cochlear category in terms of speech recognition, yet Katie
is a Deaf child, with ASL as her primary language. I can deliver a message of the importance of
ASL, even present a cautionary tale of how not every Deaf kid processes
information orally/aurally.
In the end, if your view is all or nothing, statistics would
suggest you are losing the battle. If
your interest is in developing happy, healthy, successful Deaf adults that have
a strong connection to their natural language and culture, it doesn’t have to
be all or nothing.
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